Flashback Friday #36

9 December 2006 - That's the day Sean and I went through the traditional Chinese customary wedding, and on the same night, our wedding banquet.

So many fond memories from that day, but here are the top ten highlights! All of which I can still remember very, VERY, clearly! Haha.

Moment #1:

Before Sean could enter the room I was in (after finishing all the games), my mom said he had to finish a cup of bitter tea to signify 先苦后甜(loosely translated: bitter first, sweet later). My mom had put a bunch of tea leaves in the small cup, only to realize after Sean finished the cup, that she only needed 2-3 pieces of the bitter tea leaves in a tea pot to achieve the bitterness! Haha. I cannot imagine how that drink must have tasted that day!

Moment #2:

Our wedding car was Sean's old sports two-seater (which we bade farewell to just before Blake was born), and it was really difficult to get in and out off with my wedding gown! And this was with the smallest/flattest/thinnest crinoline/petticoat!

Moment #3:

We took some time to drop by Bedok Reservoir Park (yes, the infamous one - it's very, very near our place!) to take some wedding photos and as it turns out, there were tents and decorations set up for an event that day. And since there weren't anyone around the tent, we took photos with the balloon columns that were placed outside. Haha!

Moment #4:

We were about to leave the park for my in-law's when the photographer said the road within the car park was clear, so we could take photos with the car. We basically took photos until a lorry came from behind before leaving. Haha!

Moment #5:


Tossing of the bouquet! I had specially requested that the tables near the stage be placed further apart so that I can have this! I did it for fun actually. Hahaha. Only on the 3rd try did someone catch it. First time, I tossed it too high, but not far enough. Didn't even go pass the stage, I think. Haha! Second time, it landed on the floor with no one near it. Too funny! By the third time, the bouquet was pretty much smashed. Hahaha!

Moment #6:

I was quite excited for the popping of the champagne, but when I was passed a glass of it, I immediately turned to Sean and asked, "Do I really have to drink it?" He told me to just take a sip at most before this photo was taken. Just in case you didn't know, I don't drink alcohol. All too bitter for my liking. The only alcoholic drink I remember being very sweet and nice tasting was Frangelico.

Moment #7:



Then came all the alcoholic games and whatnots that usually comes after the champagne toast. Remember earlier I mentioned I don't drink alcohol? Well, see above pictures when I was told to drink up, and when my elder sister came to my rescue. Haha!

Moment #8:


I enjoy teasing my little cousin Nicole when she was a toddler. When she was three, and you asked her how old she was, she would reply, "T year old!" Haha.

Moment #9:


I was given the challenge of kissing my cousin, Evelyn. So like a crazed bride, I pounced, and my prey fell. Didn't get to kiss her. And she thought she was off the hook, until...

Moment #10:

Haha! What a bride wants, a bride gets! :P

First Time is Never Easy

The first month after having Blake, I had help. During my confinement period then, I had Sean, my mom and grandmother around to help me - from cooking to laundry to baby duties. But all that ended the moment I moved back home after confinement.

Sean returned to work, and I was all alone. With this.




Blake was a colicky baby. A super colicky one. He cried from day to night, night to day. The loud piercing cries of Blake could be heard blocks away. This I know because I remember Sean telling me he heard Blake crying while walking towards our block. Basically, my memories from those days with him were just him crying non-stop for 3-4 months straight. That, and tons of carrying which grew out muscles for Sean and me. Needless to say, the first 3-4 months was a very trying period for us.

We turned into the living dead due to the lack of sleep, and because of that, we argued a lot; The most we have ever argued in our entire of six years together then.

I remember being very depressed. I had shut myself out from the rest of the world (visible online with lots of rants), and I cried a lot, threw tons of tantrums at the slightest bit of anything.


This was how I ate at home for the first 3-4 months. All I ate were instant/microwavable food.


He would only sleep while being carried


Happiness to me back then was having peace in the house and not having to move to get anything done




Whenever he would sleep, I would try too

I find myself having to choose what's most important to me on a daily basis - eat, shower or sleep. I could not have all or two. I could only have one per day, when I'm on my own. Usually, I'll take food cos I could always take a quick shower when Sean's home. Not being able to shower when I feel icky was part of the reason why I never enjoyed breastfeeding. It's a very messy business for a first-timer, at least for me. Taking a nap would be a huge gamble cos Blake would wake up at any moment. Unless he's sleeping on top of me, it's pretty difficult to get a decent nap. And that would make me even more grouchy than I already am.

I was in constant angst and self-pity. I ever considered throwing myself off the building, with or without Blake, just to be done with everything. Yes, these awful thoughts flashed past my mind more than once.

On one of those mornings when I had that thought, and was very sure I would follow through with it, I called Sean to tell him I could not take it anymore. He had just reached his work place, and he got so worried about Blake's safety and mine, he took an urgent leave and rushed home to be by our side.

I had locked myself and Blake in the room. Blake was, as usual, screaming at the top of his lungs, and I was covering my head with a pillow bawling my eyes out. The whole room was a loud, noisy mess.

When Sean entered the room, the feeling that I felt when he came to comfort me first, instead of attending to Blake, was triumphant. I was actually competing with my own son for my husband's affections unknowingly.

I cannot remember how long it took for Sean to calm me down, and to get me back to sleep before taking Blake out of the room. I only remember that after that day, I still cried whenever I lost it, but never again did I have those awful dark thoughts.

Things got much better after Blake was 4 months old. Along with switching from regular formula milk to goat's formula milk, I had stopped breastfeeding him too, and those seemed to have had a positive effect on his colic. He only cried when he was hungry, fell asleep on his own in whatever comfortable positions he could get himself in, and that's when he began to laugh and smile at us too! :D








The funniest, and I presume most uncomfortable, position I ever caught him sleeping in








Saying Blake's laughter wasn't infectious is a lie. A big fat one!
As the tougher days past, I find myself enjoying the time spent with Blake. I even found him to be quite the trooper! Even when he was down with fever, Blake would still find the energy to play with me. Only when he is really down with something terrible, will he whine and just want to be lying near us, regardless of what we're doing.


Being a first time mother to Blake brought about a couple of regrettable actions which I am ashamed of. I had thought I was well-prepared for what was to come, but I was obviously not. However, thanks to the experience Blake gave me, I am now better at my motherly duties with Nakayla. If not for him, Nakayla would probably go through the first few months with me just like Blake had to. Perhaps this is why I seem to be more favourable towards Blake at this point. Looking at how things were with him then, and how things are with Nakayla now, I think I'm trying to make it up to him subconsciously.

But honestly, I must thank my lucky stars for having Sean in my life. I'm really lucky to have a husband who cares so much for his family, who gave me all the emotional and physical support I needed despite his own need for some back then. I cannot imagine how he lived through that period with the very little amount of sleep he had, and having to put up with all the craziness that is me, and still having to go to work as usual! And the fact that he went along with my idea of having a second child last year, in spite of all that has been mentioned above... He truly is a Superman. My Superman ♥



One is never alone in their walk down a difficult path.
Read similar stories here and find the strength to carry on:

Mommified

Took a trip down memory lane on how I ended up with where I am now in my life, and I realize that ever since I met Sean, I hardly took a break! Instead, I took many, many leaps of faith! You see, I was never really the kind of person who would study hard for anything. Play hard, yes. Study even a little? No way. I still remember my secondary school mathematics teacher asking me this when I failed yet another maths test, "When will you stop your honeymoon period and start working hard?" Truth be told, I had no intentions of stopping at all back then.

But after being with Sean, I jumped into everything. Before I graduated from Republic Polytechnic in New Media, I was already taking bridging courses at Murdoch University for my Bachelor in Mass Communications. And before I graduated from Murdoch University, I was already working at Mediacorp as a Programme Liaison Executive. And even then, I was still fooling around, though I got every job and assignment given to me done.


Can you tell how happy I was when I got the job at Mediacorp?
It was my first (and only) full-time job, and in the department I had dreamt to be part of :D

I only started to focus a little more when I found out I was pregnant with Blake.


I resigned my job at Mediacorp, and took on a part time job as a New Media Trainer, teaching young students things my facilitators taught me in Republic Polytechnic. I spent most of my first pregnancy time doing something that I found myself to truly enjoy! I even went back to teach when Blake was settled in school, and I was pregnant with Nakayla!

All that aside, I guess I didn't have much to lose back then. I had just started out in the working world, and I did not really have to think too much about the finances as I almost always left it to Sean. It was definitely easier for me to give it all up and become at stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) for Blake. I was very, very lucky.

Now, you must be wondering why I say I was very lucky despite the numerous screaming and shouting to a very unfortunate pillow, and constant ranting online to family and friends who are on my social networks, about how my life is stuck in a rut? Because when I look at these, there is no amount of money or travelling or sleep that could bring so much joy and tears to me at the same time...





















I won't be able to imagine not being present for these moments too!









Too, too precious moments to miss! And with at least one of us staying home to look after the children, taking photos and videos for the one putting food on the table makes things easier. Sean may have missed the immediate moment when it happened, but if I managed to capture them on camera, it's as though he didn't miss anything!

And did I mention the joy of being able to go out when everyone else is working, and have the shopping malls to myself (and fellow SAHM troopers)? That is a definite plus for someone who does not fancy shopping in a crowded place, like me. I could also just pop by Sean's work place to meet him for lunch whenever I could. And one of the things I enjoy as a SAHM benefit - I get to shower whenever I want to!

HUGE disclaimer ahead: It's not all nice and dandy all the time.

I may stall on the housework front from time to time, but I definitely cannot put a stop to any baby duties.

There were times where I was sick, and I still had to get myself out of bed to take care of them. And I don't visit the doctor until Sean's home. There is absolutely no way I will bring the children to the clinic with me, exposing them to germs when they are perfectly fine. And that reminds me of the time I sprained my back while playing with Blake (I got carried away), and I still had to carry him, feed him, and clean him up, until Sean returned home from work. I moved like a baby learning how to walk, but with agonizing pain. There was also that one time, when Sean worked late, I had to literally change Blake's soiled diapers single-handedly, while carrying Nakayla. Don't even get me started on the mess just one child can make. This post will never end if I did. Haha.

Till this day, I still have no idea how I managed to do some of the things I did, but I did it. I did them all somehow. Haha. Staying home for my children definitely made me push myself to limits that I never knew was possible. Even at my fittest, when I was on the netball team, I thought running around the court 12 times, followed by 240 male push ups in one training session, or playing a full day of netball from 7am-7pm, were my toughest days ever. But after being a SAHM, those seem easy-peasy in comparison!


Did this when the "how _____ see ____" meme was all the rage cos I couldn't find any on SAHM!
And as though the children alone were not enough to keep me occupied, I took on whatever paying jobs I could do from home (Ribbons and Tape, La Canine Coupes, and baking to name a few). I even started this blog to remind myself of their growing up!

This whole 'mommified' process was definitely something neither I nor anyone else who knew me back then would ever imagine me to be. So, to answer my teacher's question... Mdm, my honeymoon period stopped the moment I became a mother.


Linked up with The Playful Parents:

A Possible Taboo Subject

I guess only a few know how Sean and I really got together. It’s not something we go around telling, and when asked, we give a really short version of how we met. Back when we first started out, the mere mention of our age difference and his occupation will have people frowning. We kept everything pretty low keyed. That explains why there were so few photos of us together before marriage. Even after we got married, it was still something we do not really talk about. I also ran the idea of writing this post by him before starting work on it. I wanted to make sure it was something we are both ok with. It should be fine to talk about it now, considering we have been married to each other for going eight years now, and having two children.

It all started when I was still wearing this uniform:


This photo was taken much later, after we got married. Haha!
I was 15 when I first met Sean. He was 27 then, and he was a trainee teacher in my school. All I know was that the moment he stepped into the classroom for the very first time, my breath was literally taken away. My heart did not skip a bit. Instead, it had beaten so hard that I started to blush and turn red in the face. Thank goodness nobody noticed! Something in me just flipped the moment he walked in. I was attached to another boy at that time, so I brushed it all away as just a crush, an infatuation. There was no way Sean will be attracted to me at all, anyway.

After his training was done in my school, he moved on to another school and I never saw him again, until two years later.

We were at a mutual friend’s home for a gathering, and that was when he took notice of me, I think. I was very shock to see him there, and again, I blushed quite badly the moment I saw him. It was just like when I saw him for the very first time. But the feeling was not mutual. He had no recollection of me at all! He even thought I was someone else’s girlfriend from another school, which meant he thought I was interested in girls. Haha! It was really funny when he revealed that, after we got together.

Anyway, after the gathering was over, our friend’s mother (super awesome lady) drove all of us home as it was very late. Sean and I were the last to be dropped off. It was then that we managed to talk to each other. I was sitting at the back, and him, in front. We spoke without looking at each other much. When we reached my place, he was asked to send me up as it was past midnight by then, and she worried for my safety. I declined the offer as I was still attached to the same boy. I did not want anyone in the family to think I was a two-timer, should they see him walk me home so late at night. When I got home, I sent him a text message to inform him that I’ve reached home safely. I had previously scribbled his mobile number on my notebook (copied from my friend’s). When I did not receive a reply, I thought he did not want anything to do with me.

The next day, I went to ask another friend for his number, just to be sure that I had the right number and he chose not to respond. I know, I sound like a crazed girl. Haha. When I got the number from my friend, I found out that I had the wrong number! So I quickly sent him a message, and I got a respond almost immediately! I was so happy when he replied!

At that time, I was in a pretty bad relationship – one that I truly want to forget – that I cannot seem to get out of. We started to send text messages to one another, and then it evolved into calls that would last through the nights.

I remember one of the calls we had in the afternoon had me rushing to meet him near his place. We were talking about his car, and he was attempting to describe it to me. I told him I could not imagine it, and he said if I was interested, I could meet him near his place to view his car. And I did. Haha. That car turned out to be our wedding car later :)

More calls and text messages later, I told him about my upcoming 17th birthday, and how I was excited for it because 17 is my favourite number (my birth date too!). He then said he would get me a gift. He said he would get me some hair accessories for my long hair, but I told him not to as it was not practical at all. I only like using black bands (still do). Then he said he would get me contact lenses. I was shocked. I had been bugging my mom to get me contact lenses but it was a big no-no! So naturally, I was all high and excited about it.

We met up to get the contact lenses, and he showed me how to put them on. I remember the place (not the date). It was at McDonald’s, the Princess Theatre branch at Bedok Interchange. I also remember he ordered Fillet-o-Fish meal to eat while teaching me. Haha. It was after this that we started to spend more time together. I started to tell him about the relationship I was in, and he told me I had to get out of it before things got worse. I was afraid, but he said he would be there for me should things go wrong. In short, Sean was my knight in shiny armor :)


Prior to getting together
After I was out of the relationship for good, Sean asked me to be his girlfriend. All this happened within a span of 10 days – from the moment we met each other again after two years to getting together. It was past midnight when he asked me, and I said, “Yes”, putting our start together on 24 July 2004.

The first week together had a lot of firsts for us, and things just got better from then. Life for me could not get any better.

Or so I thought.

It was some time in July/August 2005, after being together for just a little over a year, we were watching a movie on his bed when he asked me to marry him. There was no ring, no flowers. Just a cuddle with a laptop playing a romantic movie in front of us. I was obviously shocked. I was only 18 then, but I said, “Yes” to him again. He then spoke to my parents about it. They were naturally worried at first, but they gave the nod. We started the house hunt after.

When we finally found the home we want to start our new life together in, we received news that my grandpa was breathing his last breath. We all rushed to be by his bedside that night. My grandpa’s passing marked the start of more rushing for us. My mom said with my grandpa’s passing, we need to hold our solemnization within 100 days of his death, or we will have to wait at least a year. We could not wait a year, not when we have just found the home of our dreams! And so, by 29 October 2005, we were husband and wife.


We did our own solemnization door gift, probably the time when I fell in love with making my own personalized door gifts. Hehe.


We gave out honey sticks :D


A little something we put together to decorate the car


Looked really tiny! Haha.




We kind of, sort of, had a beach solemnization. Hehe.

Our tea ceremony, and wedding banquet were held a year later on 9 December 2006.









More photos:







That's about it. That's how we got together, and started a family of our own :)


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